What happens when we honestly confront our tendency to judge others—and ourselves?
This summer at The Sublime Soirée Podcast from You’re Invited Ministries, we are thrilled to welcome author and speaker Shannon Popkin to the soirée table for a meaningful conversation around her powerful book, Kinda Judgy: Finding Mercy for Myself and Others in Six Stories of the Bible.
Over the coming weeks, we’ll be sharing a special podcast series as we walk through six powerful biblical stories from Shannon’s book—stories that gently uncover the pride, criticism, and self-righteousness that can quietly take root in our hearts, while also revealing the breathtaking mercy of God.
This conversation challenged us deeply.
Because if we’re honest, judgment isn’t just a “them” problem.
It’s an all of us problem.
Living in a Judgy World
We live in a culture marked by division, polarization, and sharp opinions. Social media, news cycles, and even personal relationships often feel filled with accusation and defensiveness.
As Shannon shared: “One person is yelling, ‘You are wrong!’ while the other is yelling, ‘You are judging!’” Sound familiar? Christians especially feel this tension. How do we remain faithful to God’s Word while still loving people well? How do we practice discernment without becoming critical or condemning? These are not easy questions—but they matter deeply.
The Root of Judgment
One of the most impactful insights Shannon shared was this:
The pointed finger of judgment always points down.
Judgment often comes from a posture of superiority. When we judge, we subtly elevate ourselves while diminishing someone else. At the root of judgment is pride. And pride always divides. It creates distance in marriages, families, friendships, churches, and communities. Instead of drawing people toward grace, a judgmental spirit often pushes people away.
Discernment Is Not the Same as Judgment
One of the most powerful distinctions Shannon makes is between judgment and discernment. The world’s solution to judgment is often to erase all distinctions between right and wrong. But Scripture offers something better. Shannon describes discernment this way:
Discernment is deferring to God.
Rather than deciding good and evil on our own terms, discernment means humbly returning to the One who sees clearly. We do not see clearly on our own. We need God. Healthy discernment flows from walking closely with Him—learning His heart, His truth, and His mercy.
Mercy: God’s Heart Toward Us
Perhaps the most beautiful theme woven throughout these conversations is God’s mercy. When Moses asked God to reveal Himself in Exodus, God introduced Himself first as:
- Compassionate
- Gracious
- Slow to anger
- Abounding in love
He leads with mercy. Shannon said something we won’t forget:
“What is pent up in God’s heart is mercy.”
What a stunning truth. Many of us carry an image of God as harsh, disappointed, and constantly waiting for us to fail. But that is not how He reveals Himself. Yes, God is just.
Yes, He judges sin. But His heart overflows with mercy. And nowhere is that more evident than at the cross. Jesus took the judgment we deserved so we could receive the mercy we never could earn.
Mercy for Ourselves, Too
Sometimes the harshest judgment doesn’t come from others—it comes from within. We replay mistakes, we condemn ourselves, and we assume God must be disappointed. But the gospel tells a better story.
If Jesus truly paid for our sin, why do we continue punishing ourselves? Self-condemnation often reveals that we haven’t fully received the mercy God freely offers.
His grace is not partial. His mercy is not reluctant. His forgiveness is complete.
The Invitation
The cure for a judgmental heart isn’t simply trying harder to be nicer. The cure is encountering the mercy of God. And that happens in relationship with God, by walking with God. Because when we walk with Him, we truly experience His compassion toward us, and our hearts begin to soften toward others.
Mercy melts judgment.
Grace transforms pride.
Compassion replaces criticism.
We cannot wait to share all of these conversations with you later this summer. But today, we hope you’ll join us on our YouTube Channel HERE to hear our first, introductory conversation with Shannon. Then, as we journey through Shannon’s book together, our prayer is that each episode will draw you closer to the heart of God — a heart full of truth, grace, and extravagant mercy.
Friend, wherever you find yourself today—critical, weary, hurting, or hopeful—there is a seat for you at the table. You are welcome here. And our extravagant God is ready to meet you with truth, grace, and mercy.
