The Surest Seat: Helping Your Kids Grow, Find Belonging, and Trust Jesus, Conversations with Heather Holleman
Episode 11: The Disappearing Seat: When Comparison Robs our Kids of their Confidence with Heather Holleman
What do we do when someone else seems to have the friendship, attention, opportunities, or life we wish belonged to us?
In this episode of The Sublime Soiree Podcast, we welcome back our friend and mentor, author and professor Heather Holleman, to talk about The Disappearing Seat, the second book in her Elita Brown Series.
Set during a cold Pennsylvania winter, the story follows Elita through what Heather calls a “winter of the soul.” When a new girl receives attention and seems to excel in places Elita once felt secure, jealousy convinces Elita that her own seat is disappearing. Heather explains how remembering that we are seated with Christ helps us trust that another person’s blessings do not diminish what God has for us.
Heather also shares the powerful practice of savoring: intentionally noticing and enjoying God’s good gifts. Together, we discuss gratitude, bringing specific needs honestly to God, recording His faithfulness, and helping children develop prayer-journaling rhythms that can quiet anxiety, nurture hope, and train their minds to recognize His care.
Our conversation also explores the pressure young people face to perform a picture-perfect life online. We consider how social media can deepen comparison and anxiety, why our circle of interest should not eclipse our circle of influence, and how adults can help young people ground their identities in truth.
Through it all, The Disappearing Seat reminds us that even when life feels empty, unseen, or unfair, winter does not last forever. God is present, spring is coming, and we can become people who invite, refresh, and make room for others.
In This Episode:
- How jealousy can make us believe another person’s blessings have caused our own seat to disappear
- Why the winter setting reflects seasons of emptiness, invisibility, disappointment, and hope
- How savoring God’s gifts can redirect our minds from anxiety and rumination toward gratitude
- Why bringing specific requests honestly to God helps us wait with hope and expectation
- Simple ways adults can help children begin a gratitude and prayer-journaling practice
- How comparison and curated social media narratives can threaten young people’s confidence and identity
- Why distinguishing our circle of interest from our circle of influence can reduce overwhelm
- How knowing we are invited and seated with Jesus frees us to invite and refresh others
Reflection Questions:
- Where has jealousy or comparison made me feel as though someone else’s blessing has taken something away from me?
- What ordinary gift from God can I slow down, notice, and savor today?
- What specific worry or desire do I need to bring honestly to God and entrust to His care?
- Who might be waiting for an invitation, and what simple step can I take to include or refresh that person?
If this episode encouraged you:
- Follow The Sublime Soiree Podcast for more conversations designed to help you slow down, feel seen, and draw closer to God.
- Share this episode with a parent, grandparent, teacher, mentor, or young reader who could benefit from the message of belonging and identity in Christ. You can find discussion questions for each book here.
- Continue the conversation by joining us for the next four episodes as we explore each book in Heather Holleman’s Elita Brown Series, beginning with This Seat’s Saved.
- Visit Heather Holleman’s website here to learn more about her books and her ministry.
- Visit our website, You’re Invited Ministries, here to learn more about our book.
